Now I'm Free
by DizneyGirl76
Summary: Rachel Berry has been successful on Broadway starring in multiple shows, but now she's back in Lima with a horrifying past and a down trodden heart. Future Fic!
1. Hello!

Hello! It's Dizneygirl76! You are reading my very first Fanfiction, for Glee! I am still coming up with Ideas and developing this story, please read on and review!


	2. Chapter 1

I stared out the window. It is one of those small crappy windows with the pull down shade, but what else would there be on a small crappy airplane. I was alone, until someone moved next to me, and now she won't shut up. Something about boys, she won't stop talking about this boy, and he did something and she didn't like it, scratch that, she did like it and it was… kinky. I am so tired of people. You probably know how annoying they are, I don't have to tell you, but they make me very angry.

"Oh my Goodness! No way!" I started in on their conversation, the girls were like 16 but I felt like this was needed. They gave me a look that said "what is her problem?" and I immediately gave it right back.

"That boy is soo mean, I mean you're like 16 and you shouldn't be doing things like that! Do you know who I am?" I growled impatiently. They looked at me in fear now, I was a little happy inside.

"I am Rachel Barbara, uh, Berry. The star of Broadway! Now if this seat is not vacated in the next 30 seconds, heads will roll."

"You are looking at a Miss Bethany of Lima, you should be a little less bitchy, and clean yourself up because no guy will ever want you." The girl next to me walked defiantly away, waving good bye to her friends. I knew I was a mess but it came with the situation. I pulled out my mirror from my purse checking out my eye, it was almost healed, and I had to admit I looked a mess. I applied some quick foundation. Now I could sleep. It was weird though, calling myself by my maiden name, it's been a while and a tear slipped down my cheek. The flight was peaceful all the way to Lima, Ohio from that point, besides some weird looks from that girl's friends. Lima was a town that I tried so hard not to miss, but I missed my two dads and by default Lima.

The airport was awful, everyone in the whole town was there, or at least that's what it felt like. So many people. My dads were waiting at the baggage claim, they had already picked up my pink suitcases spotted with Gold Stars. Gold Stars are kind of my thing. They chatted to me about a puppy they got to fill the void of me leaving, (and that is the gist of what they were saying any way). I told them the horrors of New York and then of Broadway divas, they laughed at my anecdotal life. The ride home was fun, I felt loved for the first time in a while.

The house was the same as when I left it, minus a few minor home improvements, but the same. I walked into the powder blue kitchen with white appliances. It smelled like they had Chinese earlier, maybe they cooked it but they never would have ordered out. I walked over to the fridge checking for a drink after my long flight, but a small sheet of cardstock pinned to the front of the appliance caught my attention. It was the note I had sent a year and a half ago, on the back was a picture of me and David. I pulled it out from under the magnet and tossed it into the trash. He was not someone I would want to remember along with Jesse St. James and Finn Hudson. I opened the fridge to see a small cake, vanilla frosting with pink trim and gold stars around the words "_Welcome home Our Star_." I smiled at this, it made my day.

I celebrated with my dads, eating a vegan pizza, and the cake. Then I revisited my adolescent bedroom. The pink walls were faded, my bed smoothly made and my things in perfect order. I sat on my bed, it was soft and it smelled so good.

"Rachel?" My dad asked. He pushed the door open slowly, and sat down next to me. He wrapped his arms around me, "I want you to know, your daddy and I are proud to be you parents and will love you and support you no matter what. We love you so much." My eyes watered, it was nice to be told this.

"Thank you, Dad, I love you guys too. You are the best parents a girl could wish for." He hugged me for a long time.

"I also want to tell you that you can tell us what happened and we won't ever judge you."

"Tonight isn't the night."

"Okay sweetie, I can respect that, good night." He gave me kiss and left.


	3. Chapter 2

**Hey there readers! Here goes Chapter 2! More is coming, but any comments and suggestions are welcome! Please R&R!**

**DISCLAIMER: I don't own Glee, if I did, Jesse and Rachel would have never broken up and Finn would have graduated after the first season.**

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The next day I awoke suddenly to silence. There was no noise of the city, no hustle and bustle, just birds. I got up and did my elliptical routine, like I have since high school, and took a shower and got dressed. I decided to go and visit at the high school.

William McKinley High was forever unchanging. The typical girls in their red and white Cheerios uniforms, the geeks, and the jocks all scattered along the halls. I fit in well, I guess, my size at least. I walked to the most memorable room, the Choir room. It was dark but I could still see the black shiny piano and the rows of maroon chairs. It brought back memories; I could still feel the anxiety from the day we thought Sue was cutting the club, or when we had come back fresh from our win at Nationals in New York. That's when everything changed, the whole club graduated, except me. But of course we won again at National the next year due to my stunning solo. It was the song "Whispering" from Spring Awakening, and it was that song that scored me the role of Wendla on Broadway.

"Excuse me, sweetheart, I have to open the door." A high pitched annoying voice came from behind me, one that belonged to Mrs. Pilsbury.

"No problem," I responded moving out of the way, "When is Glee?"

"Mr. Shue will be down in a few," She said waving good-bye and walking away. I flipped on the light and took my old seat, front row three in from the left. It felt nice to take such a familiar sear. Then came a swarm of kids chatting about something.

"Excuse me, You're in my seat." A small girl, short and very thin, directed her voice to me. She was powerful and slightly obnoxious.

"Sorry," I shrugged and moved to the back row.

"Good, It's my seat, and it was said that everyone who has sat here has gone on to fame! Like Rachel Berry, she went to Broadway! Let's see and Jimmy Anderson, he's in a band, and Sara Ann, she's now in a movie! I am going to take after Rachel though, I am going to be on Broadway." The girl answered, still talking to me, quite animatedly.

"Broadway is difficult to get into, do you have the chops?" I asked, ready to toy with her.

"Do I have the Chops? Of course I do. I am THE diva of this group." I like this girl, she reminds me of a younger me.

"It will take a lot. Do you have a name?"

"Duh, it's Lea Noelle Hiram. Soon to be just Lea Noelle, it's more stage appropriate. Imagine Lea Hiram on a Marquee! Lea Noelle has a nice ring to it."

"Yeah, I see, So what songs are you guys doing?"

"Well, we just started Don't Stop Believin' because Shue said he did it a while ago but the group never did perform it at Sectionals. They did it for Regionals though. Plus we just started Somebody to Love by Queen because it's a classic."

"Hmhmmm, I will have to practice sometime," I said with a smile.

Mr. Shue came running through the door. The same old Mr. Shue, same curls, dimples, goofy grin and great eyes. I missed him.

"Guys! I have a great Idea, let's do another Journey song!" He was so into Journey, I never understood.

"Mr. Shue, I for one think we need to find a song that better suits us, like a solo for me! I was thinking On My Own from Les Miz. It is a great song that really features me." Lea stood up prominently. I sat and watched, Mr. Shue didn't even recognize me, then again, I didn't recognize me.

"Lea, sit, you remind me of a Miss Rachel Berry, destined to be a star! Now, as much as you want to shine solo, you have to shine with the rest of us first."

"Fine, I'll sing my part, but I want a solo!"

"Class! Let's go from the Beginning of Somebody to Love!" Mr. Shue cued Brad, who weirdly is still there waiting to begin his piano part. The class began to sing, and as I had after replacing April, I sang the solo. Stunned, the class turned to look at me.


	4. Chapter 3

"Rachel?" Mr. Shue asked tentatively, "Is that you?"

"Hey, Mr. Shue, long time no see." I stepped toward the piano walking over to be embraced in a tight hug.

"Listen I would love it if you stayed for the rehearsal and then after we can catch up, but I have a new song to pass out in your honor." He said smiling widely.

"Sure, I'd love too!"

"Here is a great piece, from the Broadway hit Wicked!" He said passing the piece around. Lea raised her hand.

"Mr. Shue, can I be Elphaba, please, it's only my dream!" The brunette was bouncing up and down until he gave her the right.

"Then I want to be Galinda." A tall, tanned blonde in a Cheerios uniform raised her hand.

"Sure, Alana, you can be Galinda." This was going to be interesting, if Quinn and I ever sang "What Is This Feeling?" it potentially would have been bad, and this was obviously the relationship the two shared.

Luckily, everything went smoothly, and surprisingly the two were rather good. They blended well. But when the bell rang they sprinted out.

"So, how have you been Miss Broadway star?" Mr. Shue chuckled.

"Pretty good, how have you been? What's new?" I asked.

"Well, I'm married to, I don't know if you remember, Ms. Holliday, and we have a son. His name is Logan, I have a picture somewhere, but other than that, everything is the same."

"Awe, he is adorable!" I said, looking at the toddler. His cheeks were the color of roses, his eyes were milky chocolate, and he shared the trait for Dimples with Mr. Shue.

"Anybody special in your life?" He questioned me. I turned my head, holding back tears.

"There was somebody, but, it…" I drifted off. I didn't want him to think I was a failure.

"Hey, that's okay, how's the city? Broadway?"

"It's nice, you should come visit sometime! My next show is undecided though."

"I saw your others, Wicked, Spring Awakening and Les Mis."

"Yeah, quite an adventure…" I trailed off

"Mr. Shue, I was wonder if James has done his share in Glee, should I let him start on Friday?" A male voice brought me back to a special performance of Sweet Caroline. The infamous Noah Puckerman was standing in front of me. He smiled at me, but the kind of smile that says, hey I think your cute and deserve the "Puckzilla" as he called himself in High School.

"Yeah, I think he has done a good job in Glee, he is stronger than ever, let the man start!" Mr. Shue playfully smacked him on the shoulder; Noah's masculine physique more appealing than ever.

"So, Who is this lovely lady in front of me?" Puck asked smoothly.

"Hello Noah." I answered with a gentle smile.

"Oh my goodness. It would be you. Berry, how'vya been?" He stumbled, hiding behind a chair.

"It's been a while," I said avoiding the question.

"Why don't you come with me, we'll go for lunch and you can tell me about what you've been doing." He reached for my hand, pulling me up and out the door.

"Bye Mr. Shue, It was nice talking to you, I'll come by again a little later." I said waving at him. It was weird being escorted by Noah, he was nice to me in School but, I was the girl that nobody wanted to hang out with. I was, actually, I still am a Diva. There is no changing me, it's who I am.

Noah led me to his car, it was nicer than I expected for a Phys Ed teacher. He opened the door of the passenger's side and I got in. When he was sitting next to me, he began to chat.

"So, how was your life in the City? Was it everything you wanted?"

"It was great, the city is so brimming with people, there are just so many. They are everywhere! You can get the best pizza and see the best shows." I said this with a fake smile.

"What shows were you in?" I told him my short list of lead roles, and he rolled his eyes. I may have also given him a plot summary of each, and maybe a character analysis or two.

"How's uh, life Noah?" I asked pulling my hair away from my face.

"It's good, you know you are the only one to leave the state? Pretty much the whole Glee club stayed here."

"How is everyone? Did anyone get married? I know Sam and Quinn were engaged, and Blaine and Kurt were still together, but how are Artie and Brittany, and Mike and Tina, and Santana, and What happened to Lauren?"

"They are good, Sam and Quinn are married and I think Blaine and Kurt are still dating. Artie and Brittany broke up; Brittany said something about Artie not being able to dance with her at their wedding and she broke it off. Mike and Tina are now engaged, they tried to invite you to their engagement but you were too busy. Santana will be home any minute, and Lauren left me, she got a wrestling scholarship and left."

"Wait, What? Are you and Santana married? That would have been good to know, wouldn't it? Before I, uh, came over. I'm sorry Lauren left you."

"No, Rachel, Santana and I are not married, we're not even dating. She just lives with me, we share rent and stuff."

"Oh, okay." I was quiet, for like the first time in my life. Noah leaned over to me wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

"I'm single, Rach, and we could be two smoking hot Jews. We still have a chance! Come on, let's watch a movie, have some wine, get comfortable, and maybe we can sing something." I was a little apprehensive, but I haven't sung a duet in a while, for fun at least. It could be fun, so I agreed.

We sat on his couch, snuggling, watching _Funny Girl_. It was my choice but Noah obliged. He rubbed my back, his touch was tender and careful. He nuzzled into my neck giving me small kisses.

"_David, NO! Please don't do this, not now, please it's been a long day." I struggled under his firm grasp, his fingers only curled tighter around my arm._

"_Staying quiet will save your voice, it'll do you good to shut up!" He screamed into my face throwing me ahead of him. His force pushed me down onto the stairs, and he stripped me of his jacket. He pulled off his shirt, showing his large muscles, he did this to impress me when we first dated, and now it scared me. He pulled me up, watching my face for the pain, he dragged me into the bedroom. _

"_Rachel, get the hell off the floor!" I was laying there crying, but with his brute strength he threw me on the bed, pulling each piece of clothing off. He pinned me down. I let out a gasp in pain, and he slapped me._

"_You listen to me. You don't talk back!" He growled. I knew I would pay._

"Noah! Please!" I cried out, my tears running down my face. He backed off, then seeing my face he pulled me in tighter. My hands pawed at him, I wanted to leave his arms but I couldn't leave. He whispered soothing words in my ear. I let him hold me. What else could I do? I needed it, and it felt good.

"Puckerman! What the hell! I get home from work, I expect Dinner!" Santana walked in the door, screaming as loud as she often had in Glee. She set a baby carrier on the kitchen table, making goo goo eyes at the thing inside. She pulled a small child away from the seatbelts and into her arms.

"Alia and I are hungry! Aren't we baby?" She bounced the little girl gently. "Who's that? Another girl Puck?"

"Hello Satan. You must remember Rachel." Puck defended, loosening his grip on me to go greet her.

"Rachel who? That girl from like two years ago that you "dated". Like I remember every girl you date!"

"Rachel Berry, from Glee." I answered, my voice still a little thick from crying. She looked me over, and decided that she remembered.

"Hello, Berry. It's been a while." She glared at me. I walked over to see the baby.

"She is adorable, her name is Alia? How Old is she?" I asked curiously.

"Yes, that's Berry. Her name is Alia Harlow Lopez, after my grandmother. She is almost 5 months old. Enough with the 20 questions." Santana hasn't changed since high school.

Santana passed the baby to Puck, and began to put together a sandwich. I looked at Noah and then the baby, questioning. He mouthed "Later." I carefully took Alia into my arms. She was warm and heavy in my arms.

"_Are you excited?" I patted my stomach, my little peanut. _

"_I am, David, we will be great parents!" David smiled at me, curling his body around me in protection._

"_I'm glad we finally get the chance to be parents." He threw me a glance, I shrank a little. _

"_Yeah, Who should we tell first?" I asked, hoping he would say my dads._

"_Nobody. This baby, and you are mine. We will tell them when I say we can." He stared me down._

"_Okay, not even my dads?" I asked._

"_NO." he pulled me down the street, a strong grip on my hand._

"She's so sweet." I whispered. Santana whipped around, upset that I was holding her. She came over to me snatching the little girl up. I felt myself flinch at her action.

"She's mine, Berry, and no one gave you permission to hold her."

"I have to leave. Good Bye Noah." I left, and he didn't follow me.

I walked home. In tears.


	5. Chapter 4

"Sweetie," Daddy came in shaking me from my rough sleep, "Rach, you were screaming, shouting for David! Sweetie, what's wrong."

"Daddy, it's nothing, I had a dream that, David fired me. He was pushing me off the stage, I couldn't stop him!" I lied, but in my terror, I want to protect him. He doesn't need to know, it'll kill him.

"You can tell me and dad anything, I'm sorry you've had a bad dream." He patted my knee, I don't know why he said that, maybe he senses that I'm lying.

"Thanks, I love you, Daddy."

I decided to talk a walk down the street. It was a nice day out, the sun was shining and the sky was really blue. Now was the opportune moment to go shopping. The tiny shops didn't change, they were still the cute village shops with cute little window displays. I walked the sidewalks passing couples, children, and teens. I had never done this when I was in school, or living here, except when I was younger. My dads would take me out and we would shop, for hours, I would come home with bags and bags of clothes. I smiled in the memories. I looked into the shop where I once picked out new dresses under my dads' guidance. Why not go in?

"Hello, Welcome to Snazzy Pants!" The greeter joyfully ushered me into the store. I looked around. The baby stuff called to me. I flipped through the tiny jumpers, so small and delicate.

_I felt the smooth material under my thumb and forefinger. I spun around in the room, taking in the pink walls with a horizontal strip along the center of each wall consisting of stars. The windows had gold sparkly curtains, and the floor was covered in a shaggy pink carpet. The dressers were new, cherry wood, with plenty of drawers. Each drawer had its assignment; socks, tee shirts, jumpers, blankets, even diapers. The tops were lined with picture frames yet to be filled. The crib was perfectly made, pink sheets and a clean comforter. I drape a silk blanket over the side. It was a beautiful sight, the sight I had come to love._

"_David! Come here, look. It's done! I think the blanket adds so much! I filled her closet a little more, look at this, it's a gift from my Mom! It came with this note and a picture of Beth! She's gotten so big!" I showed him the note and picture of the little blonde in a blue floral sundress. _

_He slapped my hand, grabbing my wrist, pulling it back to an uncomfortable limit. _

"_I told you not to tell anyone!" He said, twisting my arm. I yelped with pain._

"_David, please, stop!" His hand came at my face quickly, and struck before I could move._

My hand flickered up to my cheek. It was wet. I let the jumper fall from my hand onto the floor, quickly bending to pick it up. I placed it back on the pile, and strode over to the blankets. I picked up a pink silk one, and went up to the counter.

"Hello!" The cheery store clerk carefully picking up the blanket, "Are you expecting?"

"No," I fumbled, "It's a gift, for a friend." The clerk kept smiling.

"It's beautiful! I would buy it, but I don't have a reason too." She continued to chatter, but I ignored her.

"Thanks." I took my purchase and left the store. I decided to go see Noah again, but seeing as he was a teacher, and a coach, I would have to wait. I went to Breadsticks, I remember all the times we spent here as a club, It was time to visit.

Breadsticks had expanded another room. It was nice, there were new colors and new tables, it was more modern and it had a nice feel to it. I sat down at an empty booth.

"Welcome to Breadsticks! My name is Santana and I'll be your, for the love of God. Berry, are you following me?" I was staring at Santana Lopez, again.

"Hello Santana, I am not following you, I simply am here after a day of shopping. I actually have something for Alia." I pulled the silk blanket out of the bag, showing it to her. "It's a blanket, something that every baby needs, and something that I would give my child if I should have one."

"I don't take charity. Look, I can have someone else take this table, and I will-"

"Santana, I want you to have this." I pleaded with her. She rolled her eyes and took the blanket. I followed her as she stalked away from the table.

"I am leaving, I don't need to eat here, I'm sorry for disturbing you at work." I backed out, smiling, even though it was forced.


	6. Chapter 5

The football field was lit up. I missed the thrill of seeing Finn, Puck, Sam and the rest of the guys out on the field. I sat down in the front row of the bleachers, immediately spotting Puck. Some guys sitting next to me tapped my shoulder.

"Have you been to one of these games before?" His voice sounded familiar, his face bringing back memories.

"Yeah, but it was a long time ago. I used to date a guy on the team." I teased, waiting for him to acknowledge who I was.

"That's cool, I used to be star quarterback, when Beiste was the Coach. She was a bear, but she only coached me for a couple seasons. Puckerman took over a couple years back because Beiste got a better job."

"That's cool, actually I was here when Tanaka left and Beiste took over."

"Really? How do I not know you?" His dumb face so confused.

"Maybe because I dated you. I was there when you almost didn't show at Sectionals because Quinn admitted to sleeping with Noah. I sang Don't Rain on My Parade. Maybe you remember me now."

"Rachel?"

"Finn."

"Wow, you've changed!"

"So have you." It was an awkward exchange. It took everything I had to resist screaming "YOU'VE GOTTEN SO FAT!", he had gotten fat. I mean man boobs fat. They need to be restrained.

"Yeah, so…" he was feeling the awkward air.

"So, I've seen Santana and the baby." I responded, hoping he would give me answers.

"Yeah, she's a cutie. I don't understand why she did that, but who knows."

"What'd she do?" I pried, wanting to understand.

"She had wanted a kid, bad, I don't understand why, but she got herself knocked up. It was this guy she dated once, he agreed, and then the moody Santana came out. It was interesting getting calls at three in the morning to come get her from a party that she shouldn't have been at, and have her sobbing into your shoulder about how she was tired and not ready to be a parent. She was stupid."

"Was she dating that guy?"

"I don't know, probably,"

"Maybe he was pressuring her to do it. Or maybe he was going to leave and she didn't want him to. Did you ever consider there was more?"

"Rachel, I don't know."

"Good bye Finn. " I stormed away, how dare he judge her like that. I mean, she may have been a bitch to me in High School but, no one should be judged like that by a fat pig! She seems like a good parent.

I walked to Santana and Puck's house. I knocked on the door, hearing a musical voice from inside. I saw Santana peek through the window.

"Go away, Berry." She said through the door.

"Let me in please." I shouted.

"Only for a minute." The door opened and I stepped inside.

"Have you come to kick me when I'm down? I am happy for you that your life is big and beautiful in New York, but mine isn't as grand. You don't need to help me." Santana roared, startling the baby in her arms.

"I don't want to make fun of you. My life is not at all what you think." She cradled the little girl, rocking back and forth.

"I'm sure it's better than here."

"Can I hold her?"

I felt her weight shift in my arms, the little baby so adorable, in my arms.

"She's amazing," I said with tears in my eyes.

"Yeah, she is… I wish I could, never mind." Santana bustled around the living room while I sat on the comfy couch.

"What is it?"

"It's Nothing, Berry."

"Where is her father?"

"That's none of your business."

"I'm sorry, Finn told me something but I didn't believe it."

"What did he say?"

"He said that you wanted a baby, and you let yourself get knocked up. Then that you complained about it, and that you were stupid."

"He is an ass, did he tell you who the father is?"

"No. He just said it was a guy you dated once."

"She is his. His daughter. I didn't want to be knocked up, not now! I could have gotten out of this town! I had my chance. But we were dating, and it was one night. He probably mentioned how I partied right? Well that was a third job. I was a waitress at weddings and other occasions, I got nice tips that way. He had to pick me up because we sold his car to pay for the medical bills and such. I hate him."

"I'm sorry, Santana, I'm so sorry." I wanted to hug her, but the sleeping baby on my chest prevented that.

"It's not your fault. He left me, after I got to 8 months. I was devastated, but we are still alive, and it's mostly thanks to Puck." The sobbing Latina sat next to me, and we cried together.


	7. Chapter 6

I slept over at Santana and Puck's, Santana needed my comfort. When I got up I was alone, Santana was up and gone for Work. Puck met me in the kitchen.

"She wanted to know if you could watch Alia, she has to work until 8 tonight and her babysitter is expensive, I usually pick that up, but you can do it." He threw a list of directions into my hand and kissed my cheek.

"Sure. I can do that." I smiled at the thought of being alone with the baby.

"She's in her crib, down the hall in San's room, across from the guest room you were in." I reassured him that I could do it and he left for work.

I heard a small whimper coming from Santana's room. I quickly went in there to quiet Alia. I walked into the room. Pink. Pink walls and sheets and a dark wood dresser close to cherry, but not quite, covered the room. There were hints of gold, and silver.

_I sat on the floor sobbing. Why? What did I do? How could I have done this? The room was torn apart; the crib was in pieces, the clean new clothes scattered along the ground, and the pink silk blanket was thrown over the brand new changing table. I pulled at the blanket. It smelled so clean, it was so soft. My tears soaked the material. It was my fault._

I comforted the struggling baby, wrapping her in a receiving blanket, bringing her out into the living room. I grabbed the list of instructions and read the first line, feed her the bottle of milk in the fridge, heat on high for 10 seconds, check temperature. I did as directed, and then got her dressed in a little sundress. She was so adorable. I brought her outside to take a walk. All I wanted to do was hold her, but I thought it best to put her in a stroller. We walked around the tiny block, and then to my dad's house.

"Hey, Rachel!" Daddy said as I walked in the door. He took today off so we could go to the show. "You, have a, baby?"

"Yeah, I am babysitting. My friend from High School's daughter. Look how sweet! She's such a good girl!" I was holding her on my hip, rubbing my finger along her cheek. Daddy was smiling at her.

"How are we going to see a show? Will she sit through it?"

"We'll find out, and I can play Mommy." I smiled.

I packed the diaper bag with plenty of diapers, a sweater, a blanket, a bottle, and a change of clothes before I left their house so I figured I was safe to take her. I did need a car seat though.

"Daddy? Do we still have the car seat I used when I was little?" He shrugged. His steps descended to the basement, there was a moment of digging through memorabilia of my childhood, and then happy footsteps up the steps. Daddy emerged holding a pink infant seat. He then proceeded to hook it up, while I rocked the child to sleep. Daddy showed me how to buckle her in, and I sat next to her, holding her small fist.

"Ready?" Daddy had asked me, I quickly nodded yes. I buckled myself in next to Alia, even though she was asleep.

"What are we seeing?" I pushed my hair out of my face.

"I was thinking we'd go to the community theatre and see Rent."

"Awesome, it'll be fun to see all of the town's talent."

We sat down in the best seats available, five rows up, in the center. I hugged the infant to my chest, she was purring. Daddy wrapped his arm around me, letting his fingers play with the baby blanket. We had a little bit before the show started.

"So, what happened with you and David?"

"It's a little painful, and it's a long story."

"We have time."

_ "Rachel, we have time!" David was shouting at me._

_ "NO! Curtain is in like 20 minutes!" I was pulling him down the street._

_ "We should have been there an hour ago!" I was whining, I wanted to be there on time, it was one of my favorite shows, West Side Story, on OPENING NIGHT! We had gotten tickets, really amazing tickets through David's friend._

_ "Honey, my best friend is the director, he'll wait for me, I can ask him to hold the curtain." He gave me a kiss on the nose. I fell for it; he was so sweet, so kind. _

_ "Fine, but hurry!" I pulled him through the streets of London._

_ When we finally reached the theater, I pulled him inside bypassing the lines for drinks and souvenirs. I held my program close, giddy for the performance._

_ "Rachel. Look at page 17 in the playbill; it's such a cute ad."_

_ "Okay, can't I just watch the show?"_

_ "Just look!" I flipped to the page. 'Rachel Berry- Will you marry me?'I gasped, looking at David. His chocolate eyes stared into mine._

_ "That Rachel Berry is lucky isn't she?" I asked._

_ "Just answer the question."_

_ "Yes," I responded with that one word, the one word that would label me as his._

"We grew apart. That's all." I said flatly. There wasn't a simple explanation. I shifted the baby's weight, to my other arm and the show started.

Santana greeted me at the door, muttering in Spanish. I rocked Alia gently and passed her off to her Mommy. I am not going to lie, I wanted to hold her forever, or at least longer. Daddy drove home and I reluctantly climbed the familiar stairs to my bedroom. Things had changed but the feeling was still the same.


	8. Chapter 7

"Berry, we're having a party tonight you should come!" Noah was chatting on the phone immediately after I picked up.

"Okay, will Finn be there, I mean I know that he and Santana are-"

"No. I wouldn't do that to her, and I just needed a simple yes or no to determine how much alcohol I should get."

"Well, I am not really drinking,"

"Okay, you don't have to, but I will supply some, and if you feel the need you can have as much as you want. I mean you have no problem drinking, remember the party at your house during Alcohol awareness week? It was awesome, we were so hung over."

"Yes, Noah, I understand and that was hard to forget."

"Okay see you later."

"Bye."

This was going to be interesting. Who was he going to invite? People he knows now? Or from our Glee Club days? I shouldn't drink, last time it was bad, and in high school it was bad. I wonder if he will invite everyone from Glee, that would be fun to see them, but they wouldn't like seeing me probably. I am really annoying, or so they told me over and over.

I looked in the mirror. My once luxurious dark brown hair was thick and mousy. It just frizzes now, I don't know why. It's kind of grayed a little, maybe from stress. My eyes were bright and determined, but now they look sullen and I have the HUGEST bags under them and dark circles. I LOOK OLD! I guess my fantastic looks have faded with age, now I'm average. This a little sucks.

I went to my closet, there were all the same skirts and animal sweaters from high school; I may have left them here and bought a whole new wardrobe in New York City, wink, wink. I flicked through all the old stuff remembering the days I wore this sweater and that one, also revisiting the slushie facials through the stains. I pulled out my most fashionable dress, from my NYC collection that I brought home with me, and tried it on. I did look better with it on. It was black, hugging to my curves, and it fell mid-thigh, showing off my legs. The front had a low neck line and it showed off my breasts, I remembered how much I loved this dress for that reason.

I took my Dad's car, it wasn't anything special but it was better than walking. I fixed up my makeup before walking in, like any girl does. Then I took my first step toward real human interaction. I was met at the door by Noah, a drink in his hand.

"Hey guys! Berry's here!" He called into the rest of the group. They all groaned as I stepped in. The glee gang looked back at me, everyone was there, minus the few who were discarded like gym socks, or chose to leave.

"Hello." I said sheepishly. They were gathered around the TV playing karaoke. "Mind if I join?" Santana stood up to greet me, followed by Sam. Quinn was singing _Papa Don't Preach_, so she just waved. Mercedes glanced in my direction, Kurt and Blaine waited until I sat down to say hi, Brittany was laying next to Alia on the ground, Mike and Tina were talking quietly and Artie was chilling in the corner.

"Hey Rachel, How's it going?" We all chatted about our lives and Everyone was doing well. Sam and Quinn were married. They are expecting their first child in a couple months. They were really cute together, Sam was all protective. Mike and Tina are engaged, and their wedding is going to be huge, even Sunshine, yes the girl I sent to a crack house, is going to be there. Kurt and Blaine are dating but living together, and of course Kurt decorated the house, he had pictures. Mercedes was dating some guy she met through her work, she was a wedding singer and also a fashion designer, but she chose to stay in Lima. Brittany didn't have much to say, except that she still lives with her parents, because they don't like the idea of her living alone, and she is a cheerleading stunt advisor. Artie just broke up with his most recent girlfriend, after Brittany, because she was a little uncomfortable around him. I felt really bad for him.

The whole party was basically playing karaoke, which I rocked at. When it was Blaine and Kurt's solo, I felt a strong urge to drink. So I did.

Maybe I had a few too many drinks.

Just a few.

I could tell, because I stood on top of the coffee table singing Take Me or Leave Me. Alone. In different character voices. Acting it out. To the Extreme.

"Rachel?" Noah's voice was floating around me. "I think you should stay here again, you're a bit drunk. Like this much." He held up fingers but I couldn't focus on them.

"This was a lame party. We didn't even play spin the bottle!" I announced, slurring every syllable. Noah escorted me to his room, laying me on the bed.

"I'm sorry Berry, it was quiet because we're older, and Quinn can't really drink and neither can Santana, we wouldn't have entertainment. Plus most of them have to drive home."

"We're only 27ish! We should still be having fun!"

"I'm going to leave you here, and I'll be on the couch. You can get me if you need me, the bathroom is across the hall." He started to walk away.

"Please don't leave." I whimpered. I felt like a child scared of the dark. He came back and sat on the bed next to me.

"I won't. Do you mind sharing the bed?"

"Get in here Noah, I don't wanna sleep alone!" I was so drunk. He climbed up to lay his head on the pillow, his rock hard abs up against me. He gave my cheek a kiss before settling down.

_He crawled up next to me, holding my waist, slowly taking off my shorts and underwear. _

"_Let's try again, this time we'll get it right." David's face was fierce with the glow from my candle shining on it. It held a smirk. I felt scared, it wasn't my fault! I didn't do anything wrong! He pulled off his pants, flipping me over onto my back. He lowered his face to mine, whispering pick up lines and threats._

"_I love you." He whispered, before thrusting himself into my soft flesh. I gasped at his touch._

"_I love you too." I choked, I was stifling my cries, because no one would hear them, at least no one who cared._

"David!" I gasped. Noah stirred next to me, groggily lifting his head.

"Who?" He said in a low moan.

"No one. Just a bad dream. Probably from the alcohol." I muttered, and I let my head fall back to the pillow.


	9. Chapter 8

I left Noah and Santana's house before they woke up. I left a note on the kitchen table thanking them for their hospitality and for letting me stay because I was too drunk to function. The sweet smell of dew in the morning air made me feel better, less hung over. I drove home, not expecting anyone to be there, but I was wrong. Quinn was walking toward me.

"Hello Quinn." I waved jogging up the driveway.

"Rachel, there is something you didn't tell us about your life, something you are ashamed of. I wanted to tell you that you can tell me anything."

"Thanks? How do you know I have a secret?" I asked curious as to why she was here so early and why she had this inkling.

"All you did last night was cry whenever we brought up certain songs or people, and then you drank some more, and it didn't help. You just kept crying!" She said this certainly, and she stood up to be at my level.

"I am fine, and that is not how I remember last night. I remember it being boring." I stated.

"Oh, no, it was quite interesting. You drank a whole bottle of something, I don't know what Puck had but, you drank it all, and then you cried. We started to take bets on what words would make you cry. We even played Apples to Apples and you started crying over the green cards. You, my friend, have something to share." Quinn smiled at me, her perfect teeth all in line, her perfect skin and nose, and her blonde perfect hair was all in line. Damn her perfectness.

"I don't recall that."

"You wouldn't, the alcohol would take care of that. But you cried over the song "I'm So Pretty" from West Side Story, after you chose to sing it, and then "On My Own" from Les Miz, you again chose it. So spill your guts, and I will tell you the true gossip behind Santana and Finn."

"She already told me."

"She wouldn't admit to the rest of it. She only told you a little."

"Fine."

I invited Quinn inside the house, both my dads were gone (I assume that Daddy got a ride with Dad, because I had his car). We made ourselves cozy in the living room, and like a good host, I offered her a drink which she politely refused. Then I started talking, maybe skipping some details.

"David was my director, my most recent, for Les Miserables. We had met in a bar, a little pub, when we were talking over my audition and such. That is where he asked me to go on a date. I agreed. We dated for a while. It was amazing, he had friends who would great tickets to every show on Broadway. I loved it! He was a great director, always telling us how to improve and so on. One night he took me to West Side Story, that's where he proposed. It took a turn for the worst and I am now alone. Now spill about Santana."

"Is that all?" Quinn asked skeptically. I nodded yes, but felt that I should tell her more. I decided against it.

"What about Santana?" I continued.

"Finn and Santana were going out from Graduation, but you knew that. They had gotten serious, almost to the point of marriage. She had her chance to leave. She was offered a job as a flight attendant, she could travel all the time getting out of Lima. Plus it was a great job, she had benefits that covered operations that we didn't even knew existed, and it was fantastic in terms of pay! Finn wanted to stay. So they discussed the possibilities of leaving and Finn wouldn't do anything. He wouldn't agree to anything she suggested. She had wanted to move somewhere sunny, take the position and look for a new job somewhere else. He wouldn't budge. They of course continued to have sex, because it's Santana, she's always promiscuous. Finn decided that it was cool not to be protected at all, and she wound up pregnant. He offered to let her stay with him, but she found out that he had lied to her to get her to stay. Santana was pissed; she wanted to brake it off, but he beat her to it. He left her alone and 8 months pregnant, at his doing. She decided to never speak to him again. She voiced to Finn that if Alia ever asks about her father, she'll say that he is Puck. Puck agreed."

"Wow." I was stunned, that was heavier then I had thought. Things were twisted when Finn and Santana told me. I stayed silent for a while.

"Is there more you want to say?" Quinn stared at me.

"_Is there more you want to say?" David was spitting in my face annunciating every word. I turn away only to have him slap me back into his focus. _

"_I'm sorry." _

"_Sorry for what?"_

"_I am sorry that you didn't know where I was."_

"_AND?"_

"_I am not sorry that I went out and had a good time."_

"_You Bitch!" He slapped me, once on each cheek. I slid down the wall, landing on my butt. My face was wet, half his spit the other substance was my tears. He went into a frenzy, hitting every place he could. He slapped my jaw, bloodied up my nose and got at my eye pretty hard. I knew it would set him off, but now my heart once full of love toward him shied away from him with hate and disgust. _

"_I want a divorce. I never want to see you again. Get off of Broadway, no one will hire you ever once I'm done. You are a bitch, a slut, and so much more and all of New York will know. You should go home, be the Lima Loser you once were." He spat on my face and left. I felt a burden lift from me, knowing that I was safe, for a while. I hoped he meant the divorce._

"No." I answered.


	10. Chapter 9

**Dear Readers, Sorry it has been so long! I am very busy but here is the next step and soon you will find out what happened to our favorite suffering diva... Anywho, thanks for the reviews, (anyone who wants to review, I am open to criticism and randomness, anonymous w/e, go for it). Now, ON WITH THE SHOW!**

* * *

My phone rang, my little pink cell phone, quiet for so long was now ringing. It was my work phone, the number I gave to my directors and my landlord. The number wasn't in my phone either.

"Hello?" I waited to hear the voice to maybe remember if I forgot something. I would never forget anything, but , no, It's not even possible.

"Hello, may I please speak to Rachel Berry?" A male voice answered. I didn't know why they would be calling, what did I do?

"Speaking, may I ask who this is?"

"This is, well, it's someone."

"If you don't tell me your name, I will call the police and give them your number and have them trace you and label you as a stalker. You can guarantee that I will have you on National wanted lists in a heartbeat."

"Rachel, It's, please don't hang up, Jesse." I dropped the phone. Really? WHY NOW? Haven't I been through enough? It's a little disheartening to see all your old "friends" and have them be upset to see you but to have the man you trusted and loved who threw an egg at you even though you are a vegan to call me too!

"Jesse, good bye, I'm hanging up."

"You and I both know you don't want to." Damn, he knows me too well. I do want to, but I want him to apologize, and I want him to sweep me up into his arms and carry me into the sunset, but he was a jerk.

"I miss you." I whispered in a tiny voice. Where was he to save me when I needed him. Why didn't he come back so we could get married after my graduation? Why didn't he just apologize!

"Rachel, I have been looking for you. I wanted to come back, but I got into UCLA. I was going to take you with me, and I came back a couple weeks after your graduation. You weren't there."

" I was in New York. In Spring Awakening."

"I saw your performances, in Wicked and Les Miserables too."

"How was it?"

"Amazing. You were amazing."

"Jesse, I can't do this."

"Please, meet me for dinner somewhere. Anywhere."

"I'm not in New York."

"I can be in Lima in a little over an hour."

"Jesse. I am so confused, I can't do this."

"I'll see you soon." He hung up. He was coming here.

I sat on the edge of my bed. How would I explain this? I can't do anything, I just got out of the situation with David. I can't start anything. I found the number, and saved it as Jesse. This will be interesting.

The door bell rang. Please don't be Jesse. PLEASE! I opened the door carefully. A whole bunch of kids were staring me in the face.

"Trick or Treat!" They screamed. I was confused, momentarily, until I remembered the date. Halloween! I backed away from the door, making little excuses. I frantically searched the kitchen, finding a note.

**Dear Rach,**

**Daddy and I have a party for Halloween to go to. Please if you have time, get some candy, money is in the drawer by the computer. Have fun!**

**Love, Dad**

Fudge. I searched around some more, finding a baggie of sugar packets. It's close to candy. I gave those to the newly enthused Trick or Treaters. This was limited, but I gave the rest of them out. Kids love sugar! I flipped the lights off, and plopped on the couch. I finally relaxed, flipping through the TV channels.

The doorbell rang again.

"I don't have any more sugar! Sorry Kids!" I shouted trudging down the hall to get the door. Whoever it was they would not stop ringing the bell.

"I said I don't have-" My sentence was cut short, Jesse was standing directly in front of me.

"Hello, Is it me your looking for?" He sang. As corny as it was, that was kind of our song. I stared at him menacingly, or what I hoped was menacingly.

"Not happy to see me?" He pushed through me to enter the kitchen.

"No, Jesse, I am not."

"Why? I need you now tonight! I need you more than ever!" He sang again.

"I don't know why you're here."

"The last time I saw you was kind of rough, I miss you."

"The last time I saw you, you through an egg at me. I had nightmares forever."

"But I didn't know how lost I was until I found You!" He sang again!

"Enough with the singing or you better Run Joey Run!" I sang back. He chuckled.

"That's why I love you." He came closer to me. I pushed him away.

"I can't."

"But why?"

"Our history makes it impossible."

"There is a different reason. What happened?"

"Why does everyone keep saying that!"

"Tell the truth."

"There's nothing to tell."

"Rachel, you can tell me."

"Why are you making this so hard?"

"I only love you."

"Jesse, please stop. My history is in the past."

"Tell me."

"No."

Jess slept on the floor in my room, which was a little creepy. He wrapped himself in one of my many pink blankets, and stole a pillow from my closet. If he had a bow in his hair I might have taken him for a girl. I got up like normal, and tiptoed around him. Unfortunately he woke up to grab my ankle as I passed, scaring me to death, but it's no big deal.

"Are you ready to tell me yet?" He asked, his eyes were shining like a child's, and then sunk as I denied him the story.

"What do you want to do?" I asked, and he of course had an answer.

"Let's play twenty questions! I will ask them and you can answer."

"No. Why don't we watch a movie, I am feeling Hairspray." I trotted down the stairs and turned on the TV. Jesse followed obediently like a puppy. We sat on the couch, singing along, and slowly he inched closer to me, and closer. Then he was on top of me, practically.

"Jesse, please don't." He began kissing my cheek searching for my lips.

"Rachel, come on, I love you."

_I rocked back and forth in the fetal position. David's footsteps echoed in the house quiet apartment. _

"_What's wrong baby?" He asked, a grimace on his face that soon turned to a smirk. I remained silent taking whatever he was about to give me. _

"_Are you ready for another shot?" He crept closer to me, slowly crawling up the bed, forcing me to spread my extremities. He pulled everything off, ready for another rough night. He pushed himself into me, thrusting with power, becoming more physical with each pulse. He worked for almost half an hour, of which I cried. _

"_There. We'll do this again later, I have dinner with a choreographer." He dashed out, leaving me alone once again. I didn't move, praying he wouldn't come back, my fresh wounds now ached. I prayed, but sure enough he came back for an encore._

"_It wasn't that bad, Rachel. Come on, I love you!" he muttered the words without true feeling, but somehow I believed them._

I began to quiver at Jesse's touch. He pulled away, letting me curl up on the couch further away from him.

"Rachel, what is wrong?" He laid a hand on me, to which I involuntarily recoiled. I now let out wails as all the strikes, and words hit me hard once again. Everything reminded me of him. I couldn't escape him. I had to tell Jesse, or it would destroy me.


	11. What Happened

"David was my director. He was tall, tan and stunningly handsome. Gorgeous curls, brown, he was Jewish, he had baby blue eyes that fluttered when he saw me. He was strong and trim, in perfect physical condition. We met face to face in a little bar, we sang karaoke, I'll Cover You, from Rent , and he decided that I was for sure getting the part after my amazing audition in the theater. When we started rehearsals, we kept practice long and drawn out; he gave me more attention than everyone else. He told me that I was the most talented person he had ever met, and I believed him. We had special rehearsals together, just one on one, and he would tell me what I had to do to be the very best. We grew closer, and closer and he asked me out on a date. I was reluctant at first, thinking maybe he was trying to get into my pants, and it would jeopardize our relationship and my star status. I mean, sleeping with your director is a little frowned upon on Broadway.

We went on our first date, going to see Wicked, on Broadway. It was my first time seeing the show, not acting it. So it was fun, I knew everything and critiqued it so hard, but we had fun. We saw everything! Mamma Mia, The Lion King, you name it we had great seats! He was the best friend I could ask for and an even better boyfriend. We started living together, and he was even more supportive. Judging what I ate, helping me train physically and vocally for my role, and being amazing. Then we went to London, to see West Side Story, on opening night. We had brilliant seats, everything was perfect, and he proposed, in the program! A whole two page center fold, in color, with a picture of us and our names and his proposal. It was so beautiful, I cried.

When we got back, I started planning a big white, pink and gold wedding, covered in stars and glitz! I still have my dress design, and the invitations I designed and everything! The wedding was going to be the day we met, our two year anniversary of working together. It was all moving so quick, and he was such a gentleman, he didn't even pressure me to have sex! We waited until our wedding night, or we would have if I had gotten my way. David didn't want a big wedding. In fact he wanted to elope or go to city hall. He was very clear on that, and my dreams were pushed away. We got married, or eloped, whichever you prefer, on September 7th 2018. It was our anniversary, and it was really cute. He took me in an open carriage through the city and we kissed under the neon lights.

Then he decided it was time we had kids. This was immediately after the wedding, like literally a day later. So we tried. We tried for a long time. It was almost 11 months before we got pregnant. That was a long time for him. He had taken to me every night after all the shows, I didn't have time to do anything with the cast. I wasn't allowed. When I finally was pregnant, we redid the spare room into an adorable nursery, pink, for our daughter. He was so protective, always asking if I felt okay, getting me food, asking if I needed anything, he was great. I loved him so much. Then, we lost the baby. My little girl, my baby girl. Do you know how it feels to lose a child? It feels like a piece of you has broken off, and you are never quite the same. It changes you, you feel alone, and let down, and isolated. You feel upset that you were responsible for the death of the baby, and you feel empty. It was like you let everyone down and a spirit hung around you, and not for the better. I was devastated, and David took out his anger on me, he decided we would try again. He went back to his plan of attack, and shortly after, I was pregnant again.

David made me quit Les Miserables for the health of the baby. I sat in the house all day, cleaning everything, washing baby clothes and keeping the nursery clean. Again, it was a girl. We were so excited, but we never went out anywhere. Once my dad called, we talked all day and I told him that things were fine. He said he loved me, and then David came home. He threw a fit that I didn't call him, that I wasn't mature enough to fill him in on how I was doing, or stop talking to my dad so I could tell him how I wasn't doing anything. He hit me. I lost the baby again, the doctor said it may have been from stress or a traumatic incident.

We weren't done yet though. David tried again and once again, a few months later, the doctor told me that we were pregnant. This time was rough, David kept me close to him, at all costs. I was to do nothing. I went stir crazy. So one night I snuck out, I was visiting my friend when David found me. I ended up in the hospital that night. A minor concussion, a few scratches, and a miscarriage. David had beat me not for the first time, and not for the last. When I was discharged from the Hospital, he beat me again and told me he wanted a divorce. That's when I came here, he threatened me and my career, I didn't know what else to do. It feels hopeless, like you have no idea how to live, losing a child is hard, but three, it's torture."

I was in tears, and in awe of how much word vomit just spouted from my mouth. Jesse stayed silent, holding my hand and slowly pulling me foreword into his arms.

"I love him. I could have saved my marriage!" I cried, sobbing into his warm shoulder.

"He hurt you. Physically and emotionally. You are ten times better than that." Jesse patted my back and rubbed his palm in little circles.

"Jesse, I missed you."

"I missed you too. Let's watch the movie, do you want some Ice Cream?" He asked.

"Can we just go to sleep?" I asked, even though we had just woken up, I was tired.

"Yeah, we can do that too."

I lead him upstairs to my colorful bedroom. He took his shirt off, and then helped me into pajamas. I clung to his side, even as we lay in bed. Jesse leaned over and kissed my cheek. I beat his wimpy kiss with a powerful one to his lips. He pulled me in closer, there was no room between us. We stayed in that embrace until the next morning.


	12. Epilogue

Rachel awoke from her peaceful slumber in Jessie's arms. She pulled herself from his warm body, regretfully, and ventured down the hall of their home. She passed the wedding picture of the two of them pushing cake in each other's face in the hall with other various shots. She wandered into a small bedroom painted pink with gold accents. She was drawn to the crib that was pushed against the wall. Rachel peered down into the face of her daughter and smiled.

"My baby," She cooed, "You're awake! Lu-Lu is up! Hello babes!" Rachel was staring at the deep brown eyes that stared back at her. Lucy's hand went up in a motion that signaled Rachel to lift her up. Rachel did just that. She picked the baby up gently and brought her back to Jessie.

"Daa Daa," The baby was giggling at the sight of Jessie, "Daa Daa!" Rachel placed Lucy next to Jessie so she could wake her Father. Jessie rolled over to face the baby and opened one eye which caused an eruption of laugher from the little girl.

"Hello Lu-Lu!" Jessie chuckled back. Rachel took the girl in her lap and leaned over to kiss her husband on the cheek.

"Good Morning Rach, Good Morning baby," Jessie returned her kiss and rubbed her stomach lovingly.

"Good Morning Jessie, I Love You." Rachel said in a warm voice. For once, she didn't look pained. With Jessie, she didn't remember David. Love, in its essence, is the greatest cure of all.


End file.
